How do I even ask if they smoke weed? How can I ask how often? What is the etiquette on skirting around the medicinal vs recreational topic? All questions I have asked myself throughout my entire dating career. 

First of all I do NOT want to be judged, and yet I always feel judged by non smokers. Even just the slight amount, the off-color comment or soft smirk / laugh. Somehow me smoking weed always turns into a punchline.

This type of encounter was especially uncomfortable with the guys I was potentially interested in. 

And yet I’ve only dated non-smokers. So I would go through this weird cycle of not knowing whether they were REALLY ok with it, or just pretending. There’s always that fear or insecurity when dating, and I sometimes felt like my insecurity was being a smoker.

Dating is already hard. Online dating is so specific. Sometimes I feel like I’m just swiping on random avatars or fake humans. Do all these guys really exist? What could I possibly have in common with John from Peru, IL? 

Considering that most of us are visual and will want physical attraction, this makes the amount of people you can be attracted to slim to none. To quote the great Pauly D, it’s a grenade pit.

That’s only because a lot of people aren’t comfortable in front of a camera. And then there’s the people who aren’t comfortable in person and won’t go on dating apps. Then there's the people that don’t go out. Then there’s the people who won’t date smokers.

Then lets say you actually connect with someone on a dating app. What guarantees physical chemistry? What guarantees that you will meet in person and hit it off? Nothing, not even great texting, compares to the real life butterflies you get in your stomach from a real connection.

Is a cannabis specific dating app the answer? I genuinely don’t think so. Instead we need to change how we discuss cannabis and how we’re explaining our own personal preferences.

I think a huge factor is being able to communicate our preferences and our “why” with cannabis. We need to be having these discussions with ourselves if we hope to portray it positively to others. Most people will assume you just like being high, and while that might be true, there is still a “Why?” This is a hard conversation that many of us aren’t ready to have, even with ourselves.

The more we analyze our use the more we will find correlations between health and consumption. For example, if you feel like you use cannabis to de-stress, that might be because cannabis has anti-anxiety and pain relieving properties. Maybe you like to smoke before you eat. Well THC has been shown to create an appetite in patients of chemo-therapy. 

Knowing these reasons and feeling confident in your usage will translate into transparent communication with potential partners. I have never wavered in my use, or have allowed someone to make me the butt of any joke. I have always made it clear that whether my partner was a smoker or not wouldn’t change how and when I smoked.

2 years ago when I started Stoner Speed Dating, I knew that single stoners were interested in this type of event. A safe space where cannabis consumption isn’t questioned or explained. Where you can get over the hump of asking about cannabis, and go ahead with getting to know someone for everything else. 

I have always hoped to create a safe space for singles to mingle and consume responsibly. Dating is hard enough, removing the awkward cannabis conversation is a huge advantage.

Dating is uncomfortable, but being true to ones self will only make the experience less painful. What are some ways you break the ice on cannabis? Do you usually have that conversation on the first date? Or do you wait before you let them know?